Matthew 6:17-18
17 "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,
18 "so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
My very first Bible study was in Matthew six. I was a 18-year-old wife, and mother of a handsome baby boy, and another baby on the way. I knew that the man I was married to loved me. He would look at me as if he found some grand treasure. Oh how he loved his son, and he was so proud of the fact that he was going to be a father again. However, I also knew that he had something in his life that was robbing him of all this love and joy. And that something, I knew that I couldn't compete with. It was giving him things I couldn't, and at the same time it was bringing death, and shame to his life.
I also knew the sad truth, that I couldn't change him.
Shortly after our daughter was born, I left my husband. See, I knew first hand what the life of a child of an addict looks like. I didn't want that for our children. My heart broke, but I felt I had no other choice, than to leave the love of my life. It was for the best interest of our children. I began to cry out to this God I remembered from that bible study. I remembered all the guidance that I found in that chapter. So I begin to pray for my family. I would wait until after dinner, after I bathed the babies, and put them to bed. Then I would pour my heart out onto the Father who is in the secret place. (Matthew 6:6) I told Him all my fears, and all my hopes.
Months went by, and I got accustom to the idea of being a single mother with two small babies. Wally's family would come to visit the kids, and I began to allow my God fearing mother in law, to take the babies this way Wally could see them. Wally and I did not speak with each other. Not that I didn't want to hear from him...but it just didn't happen. I thought this was how my life would pretty much be from here on out. So with a gapping hole in my heart, I began the divorce process.
I received a call the day before our first court visit. It was Wally, he told me he had been going to bible study that his uncle was teaching. He told me that, he wanted to see if our family could be saved by this God that he was learning about. I thought, could this be that my Father who sees what I've been doing in secret is now rewarding me openly?? (Matthew 6:6) With some boundaries set in place, I agreed to see if this could save our family.
Immediately after coming together as a family once again, the verse from Matthew 6:17 began to consume me. "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face"...but you!, but you Sherri, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face. So I went to the verse, to learn more about fasting. Verse 17 said, "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face". Verse 18 said, "so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. Honestly, I was frustrated reading those verses. I thought, this wasn't enough information for someone like me to fast in a way that God would approve. I was certain that there had to be some type of ritual, some approval, something more to this fasting. Yet at the same time I had to do this, I had to fast, and pray for my husband, for our family! So I prayed to God, asking for him to forgive me if I did this fast thing wrong. And so I fasted and I prayed from sunup to sundown. For a year!
Your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matthew 6:18) After that time...We opened up our one-bedroom apartment to weekly Bible studies, and then eventually we stepped foot into our first church. Right away our family begin to serve in the church's nursery. Which then led to serving in children's ministry, then leading our very own group of kids! Before we knew it we began to serve at a yearly marriage retreat that our church offered. And then all of a sudden we were off on our very first church plant.
Today my husband, and I celebrate nineteen years of marriage. We have two amazing young adults, that we call our children here on earth. They love, and serve our community. We also have one child that was born in heaven, who knows the one true Father. Wally is a vocational pastor, and I am currently ministering to women. We teach through our testimony of God's mercy, grace, and salvation. Believe me when I say, God is real, and he does miracles! He can give us so much more, than what we can dream of!! God did this for our family and He can do it for yours.